What happened to superwoman?

I was dreading getting up today and facing all the stuff I needed to do. I was thrilled to discover that after I went to bed last night, my DH did the dishes for me. We still have a bunch of clothes to wash, we are out of clean towels. I need to vacuum but the vacuum is broke. I want to buy a new one but I can't decide which one to buy. I hate to spend a large amount of money but I have worn out 3 vacuums in the last few years. This is one of the side effects of having animals in the house.

What happened to me? I used to be superwoman. I worked all day then came home and fixed dinner and took care of the kids and DH. Now, I come home and just want to escape all the stuff that needs to be done. I can't cook anymore. I burn everything or it tastes like crap. I can still bake up a storm. Baking relaxes me but you can only eat so many sweets before you want to throw up.

I guess I get overwhelmed by all the demands on my time. At work everyone calls me when they have a question or need the copier or printer fixed. I spend my whole day putting out fires. Then I come home and its like whats for dinner, I need money, make a decision on this, take care of that problem, the dogs and cats want someone to pay attention to them, the bills need to be paid, or schedule my doctor/dentist/orthodontist appointment. Sometimes I just want to scream.

My DH is good to me. I still get frustrated with him but he takes care of fixing dinner or going and picking something up. He will run to the store for me, he makes sure the coffee maker is set up every night so I have coffee in the morning before work. He washes dishes, washes clothes, takes care of the animals, he will vacuum and dust, mop and sweep, he takes out the trash when we need it. He is good to me and I don't always tell him that I appreciate it. He retired in December and took a month off to relax. This really frustrated me. I felt like if I was still working, then he should take care of the house.

I had to volunteer for a school project (college) last summer and I chose to work at a retirement home for seniors. I ended up loving it and still volunteer there every Monday night. It allows me to give back to others and really improves my mood, no matter what kind of day that I had at work. My DH volunteers with me. He really is a good man.

I have boxes of stuff that I need to go through and either throw away, give away or find a good place to keep it. My house needs work done to it. Its over 25 years old and needs lots of work. The floors need to be redone, the soffit and fascia need to be replaced, the foundation is settling so the walls are cracked and the floor shakes, the windows and doors leak air, there are stains on the ceiling from a previous roof leak, the gate on the cedar fence need to be adjusted so they don't drag the ground, etc. My list could go on and on. Its not like we haven't done anything, the roof is fairly new, the heat and air system was replaced, new linoleum and carpet, and we painted the walls. There is never enough money to do everything that needs to be done. We have done extensive work on my truck and it is broken again. My husbands car needs new tires. My daughter has a formal to attend next month and that is going to cost a lot.

I have a friend that can't find work and is having a hard time. Somehow she manages to always pull through and find the way to pay the bills and feed the family. She stays positive through it all. I don't think I could do what she does without losing my mind. I was sick with bronchitis for two weeks recently and she brought her family down here and cooked dinner for us every night so she could make sure that I ate. I don't know what I would do without her. She manages to boost my attitude when I am down and always seems to know when I need to be left alone.

My life could be worse and I just need to suck it up and be happy but it is hard. I like being needed and helping others but I think I have let everyone use me too much. I need to figure out how to say no and to take time for myself. I always put myself last. I need a haircut and my eyebrows waxed so bad. Its been over eight weeks and my hair is so long that it covers my eyes. I am going to go today and get it cut finally. The only problem is that I don't have any clean towels to take a shower. I guess I will have to go find some beach towels.

Sorry for rambling for so long but it feels good to get it off my chest. Thanks!